Peter E Thompson asked:
There are three roles that parents must have in mind to make sure they are practicing effective parenting for their kids. The primary role is training/coaching role. This is worth more than any form of therapy.
The premise is that it’s enough that your kid can tell you what he feels, he should have the skills he needs to address that feeling. As an example, if your kid has a hard time doing his homework, you as a parent must be able to teach him skills that will help him to make things easier for him, without you doing the homework yourself.
Instead you say, “I know you’re having hard time with your homework. Why don’t you try this?….” That is one manifestation of one principle that you have to keep in mind when it comes to effective parenting: responsible love and concern. It must be remembered that what you teach your kid at 2 he’s going to carry it until he is 60.
As a responsible parent, you think this way. I love my kid enough that I won’t cover up his wrong deed of taking a few dollars from his seatmate’s wallet; it’s the same thing as I love my child enough that I would let him go to rehab if he has been found hooked to any prohibited substance. Parents must be able to steer clear from getting too emotional. It may be awkward at first knowing that we are raising our kids in a culture of emotionalism. But once you have established that role through a couple of repetitions, your kid will know what to expect from you and you will have no problem doing and saying things in a way that makes you an effective parent to him.
So while your kids are still young, you must be able to take an active role in rearing him up. It’s not that you work harder; it’s only a matter of doing things different and doing it smartly. One popular aspect you can apply this technique is when they want to talk to you and you are preoccupied with something. Instead of yelling, “Yes, and what do you want now?” you tell your child, “Okay, Jerry, if you can come back around 6, I’d like to hear what you have to tell me. I’ll be here waiting…”
Replacement and reciprocity are two concepts that you are to abide in effective parenting. Always replace the negative with positive. Say, if you are to tell your child that he shouldn’t be drinking too much, you merely tell him I’ll allow you to bring some friends over at home this weekend if you can assure me you won’t be drinking more than two bottles.
Reciprocity is closely related to it. You tell your child, “If you’re going to show me respect and won’t walk out on me while I’m telling you something, I might just take you on that holiday you want.”
Lastly, you have to remember that kids learn through repetition. So keep on repeating the skill, the situation, etc. that you need to teach him for him to soon become a responsible adult.
Create a video blog…instantly.
There are three roles that parents must have in mind to make sure they are practicing effective parenting for their kids. The primary role is training/coaching role. This is worth more than any form of therapy.
The premise is that it’s enough that your kid can tell you what he feels, he should have the skills he needs to address that feeling. As an example, if your kid has a hard time doing his homework, you as a parent must be able to teach him skills that will help him to make things easier for him, without you doing the homework yourself.
Instead you say, “I know you’re having hard time with your homework. Why don’t you try this?….” That is one manifestation of one principle that you have to keep in mind when it comes to effective parenting: responsible love and concern. It must be remembered that what you teach your kid at 2 he’s going to carry it until he is 60.
As a responsible parent, you think this way. I love my kid enough that I won’t cover up his wrong deed of taking a few dollars from his seatmate’s wallet; it’s the same thing as I love my child enough that I would let him go to rehab if he has been found hooked to any prohibited substance. Parents must be able to steer clear from getting too emotional. It may be awkward at first knowing that we are raising our kids in a culture of emotionalism. But once you have established that role through a couple of repetitions, your kid will know what to expect from you and you will have no problem doing and saying things in a way that makes you an effective parent to him.
So while your kids are still young, you must be able to take an active role in rearing him up. It’s not that you work harder; it’s only a matter of doing things different and doing it smartly. One popular aspect you can apply this technique is when they want to talk to you and you are preoccupied with something. Instead of yelling, “Yes, and what do you want now?” you tell your child, “Okay, Jerry, if you can come back around 6, I’d like to hear what you have to tell me. I’ll be here waiting…”
Replacement and reciprocity are two concepts that you are to abide in effective parenting. Always replace the negative with positive. Say, if you are to tell your child that he shouldn’t be drinking too much, you merely tell him I’ll allow you to bring some friends over at home this weekend if you can assure me you won’t be drinking more than two bottles.
Reciprocity is closely related to it. You tell your child, “If you’re going to show me respect and won’t walk out on me while I’m telling you something, I might just take you on that holiday you want.”
Lastly, you have to remember that kids learn through repetition. So keep on repeating the skill, the situation, etc. that you need to teach him for him to soon become a responsible adult.
Create a video blog…instantly.
